literature

AKATSUKI-SENSEI CH. 5

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“So Dei, how was detention with that demon kid Gaara?” Hidan asked, sipping his coffee. It was the next day before the students arrived at school and the teachers were hanging in their usual lounge.

“I’m not sure un…” Deidara almost whispered.

“Did he act up or anything?” Konan asked.

“That’s the thing un. He just sat there perfectly quiet…staring at me. The silence in itself was almost too much!”

Hidan nodded, “Yeah the kid doesn’t do too much in gym either. Just kind of sits on the sidelines and does nothing.” He shrugged at the last part.

Itachi cleared his throat, “Uh Hidan? As a teacher, aren’t you, y’know…supposed to make him do something in your class besides sit and do nothing?”

“Is this kid in your class?”

“Well, no but…”

“Then you don’t have a fuckin’ clue what you’re talking about.” Hidan gulped a huge gulp of his coffee. “Why can’t this stuff come in like, gallons or something?”

“Someone’s moodier than normal.” Kakuzu asked suspiciously.

Zetsu snorted, “Well that sure is saying something.”

Everyone looked over at the gym teacher who sighed into his almost empty coffee mug. Finally he spoke, “It’s almost that time of year again…”

Everyone let out a sound that told him they understood what he meant. Except of course the new guy…”What time of year would that be?”

Everyone took in a breath and waited for the response. “I do the driver’s ED training program.” Itachi looked at him confused, “Y’know? Sitting there, letting the kids drive around and smash into orange cones?”

“Which cost money…” Kakuzu grunted under his breath.

“I know what it is stupid.” Itachi rolled his eyes, “But, what’s the problem with it?”

“Have you ever had to sit in the car with a drunk sixteen-year-old who doesn’t know where he’s going?”

There was a painful silence, in which Itachi didn’t answer. Little did Hidan-or any one for that matter, know that the Jashinist had just hit a pressure point. Finally, he got up the courage to nod and say, “Y-yes…”

“That’s kinda what it’s like without the drunk part. Okay, sometimes with that part, buuuut not most of the time. Y’see, they picked me because I’m not afraid to die. Go figure. But sometimes the whining these kids do if they fail is so annoying! ‘B-but I tried so hard Sensei! I wanna drive!’ Too fuckin’ bad you ran over everything on the course!”

Itachi let out a breath and said, “I just remembered something…that I have to go do…” Itachi sprinted out of the room.

There was a moment of silence before Tobi spoke, “What just happened Zetsu-san?”

“I’m not really sure…Itachi just turned into Deidara…”

“Did not un!”

No one quite knew where this was going. Finally Konan cleared her throat, “Uh, so Kisame…I like your shoes.”

“Oh, uh thanks…they’re new…”

“They’re pretty.” She complimented with an awkward smile.

“You don’t say, ‘pretty’ to a guy Konan.” Pein said, putting a hand to his forehead.

“Unless it’s Deidara…” Zetsu added.

“They look expensive.” Kakuzu remarked.

“That ain’t a compliment dumbass…” Hidan argued.

“They’re uh…uh…” Tobi tried to grope for the word, “SPORTY!”

Everyone stared at Tobi. “Dude…” Hidan finally said, furrowing his eyebrows, “Isn’t Sporty like, a Spice Girl or something like that?”

“I don’t WANT to know how you know that…” Sasori commented.

“Let’s just drop it, classes start soon.” Pein offered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ALL RIGHT MAGGOTS! LISTEN UP!” Hidan bellowed to his first period gym class. “From today to Jashin knows when, I will not be your gym teacher…”

There were various cheers amongst the students.

“I’M NOT DONE YET!” They were silent again. “I will however be teaching driver’s ED, so…you will soon be getting your licenses…”

Even louder cheers were heard.

“ONLY IF YOU PASS! If not, Tobi will have to be the one to teach you sex ED. He’s got the tapes!” He hissed the last part.

Cries of distress were heard (some of their older friends told them about Tobi teaching sex ED…and well…c’mon people, it’s TOBI!)

“That is all. For now…GIVE ME FIFTY PUSH-UPS! NOW!”

The students got to the ground faster than you could blink. Soon bodies were seen pushing up and down.

“H-hey Naruto…” Kiba panted, looking at his friend.

“What is it?” Naruto asked.

“Ya stoked about driving?”

“You’re kidding right? I sure as hell am excited!” Naruto exclaimed back.

“HEY YOU SHRIMPS! YOU STOP THAT TALKING AND KEEP GOING!” Hidan exclaimed.

“Naruto, you talk way to loud for your own good…” Shikamaru said, completely pointing out the obvious.

“I hate push-ups…” Choji breathed.

“Maybe…you can even…drive to Sasuke’s new place…” Kiba smirked.
Naruto almost fell face-flat on the ground. “WHAT?”

“UZUMAKI! IF I HAVE TO PICK YOU OUT ONE MORE TIME, YOU’LL BE RUNNING LAPS UNTIL YOUR LEGS FALL OFF!” Hidan yelled, beginning to turn red in the face.

The group of friends were completely quiet after that. They’d seen what happened to kids when they had to run Hidan-style laps…it’s not a pretty picture…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Itachi’s class exited the room. He now had a prep period, with no kids to come in and bother him. Hidan’s comment from that morning was still eating at him, and floods of horrific memories were returning. “I-I’m so sorry…” He choked out, as a tear fell onto his desk.
Yay new chapter! (Finally) going away for the weekend so dunno when the next update'll be.

Yeah, so yay driving! Emo!Itachi and that shoe conversation actually happened today so I needed to add that in somewhere...XD
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jessica5972's avatar
ok 1 im lost in the conversation above(im too lazy to click page 2)
2 i fell off my chair loling(i dont know or care for that matter how to spell l in lol)
3 i dont want to even think about hidans laps
4 im not sure who was talking in that list paragragh
5 id probly be like gaara during gym, bad mouth the teach and so on(actually id probly be gaara for all the classes ecept id want to run up and hug hidan deidara itachi pein sasori and tobi to death(and zetsu cuz i wanna know if his plant thingys are furry) parenthesis inside parenthesis awesome!!!)